Monday, May 11, 2009

Mathew Henderson Hau visits Austria?

Well we are not sure about it but after reading this story (Thanks ANN) we get the feeling that he has. Or possibly Mathews Jewish comrades have read ‘THE DARP GUIDE TO TRASHING HOTEL ROOMS’

But first what is this all about?

Austrian hotel bans Jewish guests
May 11, 2009.

Above Mathew Henderson Hau (Darp) Jewish hotel room Vandal.

A hotel in Tyrol that said it does not accept Jewish guests (see above) has caused shock in the local media and tourism industry, the daily Tiroler Tageszeitung reported on Sunday.

A Vienna family of seven had asked the Haus Sonnenhof apartment hotel in the village of Serfaus for a reservation. The owner replied by email that although the room was free, she did want to take in Jewish guests because of "bad experiences" in the past.

The region around Serfaus has become popular with orthodox Jewish tourists in recent years, and several hotels in Tyrol have started offering kosher food.

At Hotel Alpenruh-Micheluzzi, owner Petra Micheluzzi told the German Press Agency that the rejection by the Sonnenhof was "bad for the image" of Serfaus.

One such incident could destroy all the hard work by others in the travel industry, she said, a view echoed by local and regional tourism officials.

"That's terrible," said Esther Fritsch, the president of the regional Jewish community. So far there had been no such incidents, she told the newspaper.

Irmgard Monz, the owner of the Haus Sonnenhof apartment hotel, could not be reached for comment on Sunday. In an interview with Tiroler Tageszeitung, she offered no justification for her email.

For his part, the rejected father of five has decided to spend the summer elsewhere: "I don't want to spend my vacation in such a racist nest, and I will inform all my friends about what is going on in Tyrol," the unidentified man was quoted as saying.

Well lets look at what Mathew Henderson Hau (Darp) the Jewish founder of Fight Dem Back has to say about staying in hotel rooms.

1st December 2003:

What with all the fart-arsing around I did in Melbs, (sic) I haven't had time to shave my nut-sack. As I hopped into the shower this morning I gave my pubic region a quick glance.

It looked like Chewbacca after a fight. Soon fixed that up.

Most of you know I had a few issues with my hotel in Melbourne and that I took a few steps to leave my mark upon the place. It seems I can't stay in any overnight accommodation without doing something evil to the carpet, the bathroom or the bedroom curtains. So here, dear readers is my guide to trashing hotel rooms.

Firstly, you gotta (sic) get the whole "Keith Richards TV out the window", Rock Star type trashing. The sort of shit I do is much more subtle and undetectable at least for a few days. It's also much more expensive to clean up and much more damaging to the proprietor seen (sic) as they usually cannot use a room I've just vacated - not until the fumigators have finished anyway.

1) Take a dump in a brown paper bag and squash it flat. Hide a few of these under the bed, behind paintings and under the fridge. In a few days time they'll know about it

2) Empty out the ice-cube tray and refill it with piss. Re-freeze it.

3) Piss on the carpet.

4) Empty all teabags and coffee sachets into the bed.

5) Put a condom on the door handle.

6) Piss in the flower vase.

7) Piss in the kettle.

8) Basically piss everywhere except IN the dunny bowl.

9) Fill the bathtub to the brim then drop the bedside clock radio into the tub, remembering to unplug it first.

10) Make your own bath stew; load it up with towels, Maccas (sic) leftovers, milk, the Gideon’s if you're REALLY feeling evil and leave it to brew for a day or so prior to your leaving. Remember to put the "Don't clean my room" sign on your door.

11) Hide food scraps and unwashed cereal bowls in not so obvious places like the dryer, under the bed covers, the washing machine, the drying closet and the mini bar.

12) Empty out the Scotch, Bourbon and Brandy mini bottles and replace them with piss. Drink a Berocca before hand to ensure colour consistency.

13) NEVER wipe your feet.

14) Upon leaving, put a turd in the microwave and/or the dryer and cook em up. The stench is kinda instantaneous so you gotta (sic) check the fuck outa (sic) there pretty quick.

15) Deny everything.

Now maybe just maybe he visited Austria on his Honeymoon? Yes folks he swings both ways now a days. We would love to show the pic of his unfortunate Jewish looking bride but seeing as we are not as low as them we will just keep that up our sleeve for now.

But hey we can always show some other pics. We love this one of Henderson and a certain relation of Justice Einfeld the disgraced Jewish Federal Court judge.
So much for that free legal advise Mathew. The wheels sorta fell off on that one hey champ.

1 comment:

ScatallyWacker. said...

Sounds like Darp's been house trained by the worlds most moral army, the IDF. Bit like the Anti-Defecation Commission.

Traditions steeped in dignity, valour, bravery and honor include gut shots on pregnant females. All done with the courage to care.