Sunday, August 16, 2009

Fear And Loathing In The Blue Mountains

From the Hunter. S. Thompson Fetishists’ Stroke Site (Please feel free to take your copy of ‘Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas’ with you into the booth and, sir, please use the tissues provided) known as MachineGunKeyboard:

Sue the bloggers ’til they shut up - ‘cos it works

Monday August 10th 2009, 3:55 am

Hmmm! Now where have we seen THAT tactic before? Funny how the Left squeal and shriek like stuck pigs when they are on the RECEIVING end of legal intimidation.

“Blogs are all about opinion and interactivity. If what you have to say isn’t controversial, it’s probably not worth saying. The interactivity comes in the comments. Good blogs get insightful commenters. Great blogs get stalkers. Brilliant blogs get legal threats. slackbastard, published by Melbourne’s @ndy, is a sledgehammer in the hand of a skilled yet rabid wordsmith.”

Rabid? Well certainly! Skilled? At WHAT precisely? You’ve just GOT to be kidding, right? Extracting the old urine a mite there, eh? Oh dear, that ol’ Weezster just cracks us up!!! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! And we’ve never heard a penis referred to as a ‘sledgehammer’.

“@ndy covers current events from an anarchist/anti-corporate and anti-racist perspective.”

Oh yeah? You mean like his own mind numbingly BORING ‘Homage To Catalonia’ style wanky, pseudo reminiscent fantasies about the ‘glorious’ days of the old and original Red Brigade?

“@ndy normally forges intense, insightful, well researched bits,”

Well researched? Indeed? I believe you’ll find more than the odd one or two challenges to THOSE claims. It's a tough choice for who gets the gong for sheer ineptness between @ndy and Cam Smith.

“but every once in a while he’ll”

What? Make a complete and utter FUCK UP?

"fire off a short sharp mortar round. Such was the case in January 2008, when @ndy published “Aaarrrggghhh! Dylan Lewis! Tania Lacy! So Much Hate!”

@ndy locks & loads:
Uh, oh! That's nasthty gun talk, isn't it Weezy old chum?

Number Ones

“Dylan Fucking Lewis is back on my TV screen, this time acting zany while flogging mobile phones belonging to Crazy John.”

And the point would be?

“According to a culture industry source “Dylan Lewis is a multi-skilled musician and media personality who can entertain and keep a crowd engaged anywhere, anytime!” but I think he’s actually one of the most annoying cunts to ever be spat out of a womb.”

We actually AGREE that he IS indeed an extremely tiresome eejit…BUT…why pick on HIM in particular when there are so many other richly deserving Left Wing targets like…umm…let’s think…the entire ensemble of The Chaser for instance or how about those old has-beens from The Panel? Or the Gruen Transfer ‘tards? Why poor little Dylan? Did you discover his grandfather was once a Sturmführer in the Waffen SS or something even worse like voted for Pauline Hanson?

“The rare experience of hosting an abundance of television shows combined with his professionalism, elite talent and ‘wow’ factor allows him to deliver at the highest level”, but substitute “thick eyebrows” for “professionalism”, “dickheadedness” for “elite talent” and “vomit-inducing” for “wow” and I think you’ll be much closer to the truth.”

Funnily, or perhaps not, those last few descriptors suit the FDB crew PERFECTLY!

“Caulfield Fucking Grammar has a lot to answer for, that’s for sure.”

FUCKING Grammar? Oh, these Lefty ‘wordsmiths’ truly are masters of the language!

“Even with my not knowing who the hell Dylan Lewis is, @ndy’s satirical Hunter S. Thompsonesque spray cracked me up.”

You AND @ndy are not worthy to sniff Hunter’s fossilised skid marked shorts. Dickhead that he was, HE at least did have some real talent and was a genuine original. YOU are a pair of farking LOSERS!

19 months later, @ndy gets an amusing email:

Dear Sir,

We represent Dylan Lewis. It has come to our notice that a website titled “slackbastards” which appears to be controlled or owned by you has made reference to Dylan. Under the subheading “Number One’s” references to Dylan of a defamatory nature have been made. We have obtained legal advice confirming the status of the material as being offensive and defamatory. We seek to have the article/paragraph removed immediately from the website.

Should you not remove the offending material we are instructed to brief solicitors on behalf of our client to seek an injunction and damages.

Mark Klemens
Managing Director
Profile Talent Management
323 Montague St,
Albert Park, Victoria
Australia 3206
T: +613 8598 7810
M: 0412 386 765


@ndy replied to Klemens:

Dear Mark,

Thank you for your email.

First, two very minor corrections.

The title of the blog is ’slackbastard’, not ’slackbastards’; the subheading is ‘Number Ones’ not ‘Number One’s’.

Secondly, a few questions.

1. Could you please identify precisely which passages, and which terms, in the paragraph below, that you allege to be defamatory?


Number Ones

Dylan Fucking Lewis is back on my TV screen, this time acting zany while flogging mobile phones belonging to Crazy John. According to a culture industry source “Dylan Lewis is a multi-skilled musician and media personality who can entertain and keep a crowd engaged anywhere, anytime!” but I think he’s actually one of the most annoying cunts to ever be spat out of a womb. “The rare experience of hosting an abundance of television shows combined with his professionalism, elite talent and ‘wow’ factor allows him to deliver at the highest level”, but substitute “thick eyebrows” for “professionalism”, “dickheadedness” for “elite talent” and “vomit-inducing” for “wow” and I think you’ll be much closer to the truth.

Caulfield Fucking Grammar has a lot to answer for, that’s for sure.


2. Could you please explain to me why you seek the removal of the article as a whole?

3. Further, given that the post was made on January 4, 2008, why was your email sent 19 months later, on August 6, 2009?

4. I have received four comments in response to my post of January 4, 2008. I am unaware of anyone else paying it any attention other than yourself. Given that this is the case, could you please explain to me what ‘damages’ have been inflicted upon Dylan Lewis?

Klemens replies:

I refer to my previous email. Should the paragraph as requested not be removed within 48 hours then I will seek our clients instructions to brief solicitors forthwith to commence proceedings against you. Our client will seek an injunction and damages. The result will mean, inter alia, substantial costs orders against you. Please confirm by return when the paragraph has been removed.

Mark Klemens
Managing Director
Profile Talent Management
323 Montague St,
Albert Park, Victoria
Australia 3206
T: +613 8598 7810
M: 0412 386 765

inter alia! Wow, is that French? mmrrrowr.

Klemens pretends to not understand that one person’s honestly held opinion of another, such as @ndy’s opinion that Dylan Lewis is ‘annoying,’ cannot be claimed to be a defamation. Such speech is protected under Australian law as ‘fair comment.’ @ndy has not accused Lewis of any unlawful activity nor accused him of an act which he has not committed. @ndy merely offers his opinion of Lewis as ‘annoying.’

As I said, I had no idea who Dylan Lewis was before @ndy let me in on this note from Lewis’ agent. I did some looking about; Lewis is apparently a DJ on a Melbourne radio station. His Nova100-FM bio says:

[...] Dylan then went on to do a couple more music telly shows - ‘The 10:30 Slot’ and ‘Pepsi Live’, and then he appeared in ‘Celebrity Big Brother’ (which he won because of his amazing style he learnt as a boy in Adelaide), ‘Celebrity Circus’, and ‘Celebrity Nob-ends’. Clearly the use of the word ‘Celebrity’ in these shows was an overstatement and pretty much marked the end of his TV career. So he moved to England for a while to drink pints. Upon his return and David Bowie-ish reinvention, he landed a gig at Nova and has been there ever since. Dylan had a little bit of experience in radio having had a go at PBS and JJJ a little bit during his ‘Celebrity’ years. But he wasn’t very adept at it so had to sleep with the boss and be a gimp for a few weeks in order to get the gig.

He’s very glad he prostituted himself [per barista in comments, why doesn't Klemens threaten to sue Nova for defaming his client as a prostitute, hmm? -weez] though because now he’s less shit at radio and wants to stay forever. [...]

You know what? @ndy’s right- Lewis IS annoying. Anyone who had anything to do with ‘Celebrity Big Brother’ would be so by definition. Due to defamation law reform in Australia in recent times, you can no longer defame with truth. However, a defamation case defendant making a claim of ‘fair comment’ need not even prove the truth of the statement, rather only state that the comment was based on their honestly held opinion to prevail against any defamation claim.
Hmmm...could THIS be the reason perhaps that the FDB wankers have gradually ceased their rapid fire threats of 'legal action' against many White Nationalist Patriot activists EVERY farking time they expose more immoral and illegal activities indulged in by the so-called 'AntiFa'?

Electronic Frontiers Australia notes:

[...] there are several defences for defamation, including truth and fair comment. If the statements are either true or are phrased in the terms where it appears that the maker is giving an opinion rather than a statement of truth, then the maker is unlikely to be liable for defamation.


263K. Defence of fair comment

(1) A defence of fair comment at common law is sufficiently pleaded if it alleges that the matter complained of was a comment that –

(a) was based on –

(i) true fact; or

(ii) material that was published under privilege; and

(b) related to a matter of public interest; and

(c) was made honestly by the defendant.

While he IS annoying, I don’t think that Lewis necessarily fits @ndy’s colourful characterisation as the ‘one of the most annoying cunts to ever be spat out of a womb.’ The ultimate honour goes to Mark Klemens, who thinks he can heavy a blogger into silence with lawyery shit for said blogger expressing their honestly held opinion about a public figure.

Clearly, Klemens is just hoping @ndy will piss his pants and pass out upon receipt of a couple of brief yet lawyery sounding bluff emails. Given the ironclad protections afforded to speakers under ‘fair comment’ specifications, Klemens would not only have zero chance of success in a defamation claim, he’d unquestionably find himself liable for @ndy’s costs incurred in defending the case.

The possibility exists that Klemens will do a lot more damage to Lewis’ career than @ndy ever could through the Streisand Effect. The world now knows that Lewis has a bullying, threatening cockhead for an agent and thus will be as well-known for that as anything else.

I wonder what the remainder of Klemens’ clients think of being represented by an agent who bullies bloggers over legitimate fair comment. There’s no doubt they’d be unhappy with having to pay defendants’ legal costs associated with any such ill-considered action.

However, I fully support Klemens’ decision to sue bloggers. Nothing pumps up the readership numbers like an arrogant millionaire former barrister who tries to suppress the public expressions of a hobbyist writer with a team of lawyers. Suing bloggers definitely shuts them up, too. This item you’re reading is prima facie evidence of that, innit?

Awaiting my writ. Don’t you want one, too?

Well, Weezy old bean (or is that HAS BEEN?) YOU have been the very worst offender over the years for firing off (as it turns out, imaginary) writs. How's it feel to be a potential victim of your own favourite tactics?


14 Comments so far
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fascinating that Kklemens ProfileTalent is financed by StevveVizzard who has said dreadful things about other people while doing skits on the ComedyCompany.

hypocrisy is so dangerous and loathesome.

Well, Fight Dem Back just about has hypocrisy monopolised.

Comment by Marshall Stacks 08.10.09 @ 3:32 pm
in the reply email to andy,
none of his questions are answered, but
he gets instead,
the THREAT that he will incur
“substantial costs orders against you - frightening him, not with Law, but with Expense.
as Shakespeare wrote ‘first, let’s kill all the lawyers,”

Oh GOODY! Can we start with Darp? Or…perhaps not. He is unlikely to ever become a lawyer now due to the brave and heroic actions of certain unnamed White Australian Patriots.

Comment by Ann O'Dyne 08.10.09 @ 3:38 pm
It is not possible to further DEFAME any person who has put themselves on BigBrother.



Comment by Bwca Brownie 08.10.09 @ 3:43 pm
This is fascinating too.

It appears that the media career of MK began with hostage DouglasWood.

WAG THE DOUG - An Eyewitness Bloug Your Democracy

Industrial barrister Mark Klemens, the front man for the agency, is Molly Meldrum’s manager and was the beak who got Darryll Ssomers off a drink driving …

Comment by Bwca Brownie 08.10.09 @ 3:50 pm
An Ode to A Toad

Raise a glass to Dylan F. Lewis
Whose brownshirt Klemens came here to screw us.
A boil, a blister, a posterior chancre
He’s Nova100’s annoying midmorning wanker.

Far too mundane to be Vyle and Jackie
Dylan’s only insipid when he tries to be wacky.
Annoying and boring, a self-interested tool
A lumpy brown lump in our FM cesspool.

Run away, hide and cover your head
You better go cower down under your bed.
‘Cos it’s morning again, it’s 9am soon
When Nova will bring us their lit-igi-ous goon.

-Hornsley W. Dickham
Comment by Dewey, Dickham & Howe Attorneys-at-Law 08.10.09 @ 3:57 pm

Ah, this is wonderful. There is a defence of satire - though I was a bit unsure until I read Nova’s own description of this person - they ACCUSE HIM OF PROSTITUTION. Why doesn’t his agent sue them? Because they know the statement is ironic and hyperbolic.

And the offending statements from slackbastard are …. what, exactly?

Personally I think the insult is shabby and basic, but threatening to sue someone with a case which you know a) you probably can’t win and b) would trash your client’s reputation if you tried, rather lacks the kind of idealism that creates pride on yer deathbed.
Comment by barista 08.10.09 @ 10:10 pm

David, your notation of Nova100 defaming their own is indeed an astute observation. Mind you, I expect Lewis wrote his own bio entry.

@ndy’s adjectives are profane and in-your-face, but in sum, he still only expresses an opinion that Lewis is ‘annoying.’

Naturally, Klemens won’t and would never have sued @ndy. Also, I’m quite certain that I’ll never hear from Klemens regarding what I have republished, despite it being verbatim quotation of @ndy. Why? It’s all bluff & bluster, intended to frighten bloggers into silence. Didn’t work on @ndy, would never have worked on me, either. If you follow twitter at all, you already know that Klemens’ bluster has fully backfired.
Again, much as FDB's bluff and bluster has backfired on THEM. FDB currently has all the credibility of the proverbial Three Dollar Note.

The mere threat of suing a blogger is newsworthy. It’s a classic David & Goliath tale, and in such a scenario, you definitely don’t want to be Goliath- it’s a PR disaster.

While you’d expect a lawyer not to care about PR disasters, you’d similarly expect a talent agent to know better.

Klemens, in the depths of his arrogance, figures bloggers for bumpkins. I’m quite sure there’s a few non-legal practitioner amateur writers on various online modes who would, as I said in my post body, piss their pants and pass out on receipt of a couple of lawyery sounding emails. However, bloggers are not anyone’s idea of a homogeneous group. Just because one writes a blog doesn’t mean they’re wet behind the ears. There’s just as many grizzled online writers who’ve been down the rosy garden path many times before. Like you, David, I was a professional writer, a radio journo in my case, for decades before anyone coined the term ‘blog.’ If I don’t get a few threats a year, given my topics of choice, I’m not doing my job very well.

So… Mr Klemens- bring on the writs or shut the fuck up."

Now THAT plea should sound familiar to any who have followed Whitelaw Towers for a while. WE have issued the same challenge to Brian 'Weezil' Stokes SEVERAL times and...guess what?...not a writ, not a summons, not a court order, not a criminal charge or fine or ANYTHING has EVER surfaced! So WHO, precisely, are the paper tigers, the bloated and pumped up bags of wind?

I’m sure the remaining clients you represent would appreciate you not rubbishing their reputations as thoroughly as you’ve trashed that of the already annoying Dylan Lewis.
Comment by weez 08.10.09 @ 11:17 pm
barista wrote:

“Personally I think the insult is shabby and basic…”

As I wrote at the time in response to a comment by ‘kate tyson’:

“you’re right, it’s a mean and nasty comment.

i think i must’ve been in a very bad mood when i wrote that."'re simply working to form. You are a FUCKWIT and will always remain so.

"my apologies for causing you offence — i’m sure dylan is a swell guy. well, i can’t honestly say i’m sure of it, but it remains a possibility anyway. mind you, i do find his tv persona to be incredibly annoying.”
Whoah thar boy! Can everyone say BACK PEDDLING? Or how about licky, licky, sucky, sucky?

Mean and nasty, yes, but not meant to be taken literally or seriously. That it produced the reaction that it did is, quite frankly, bizarre.
Comment by @ndy 08.10.09 @ 11:51 pm

Bizarre, indeed, @ndy. To paraphrase Dr Cam, someone needs to take a teaspoon of cement and harden the fuck up.
Ha! Ha! Ha! Yeah, the soft, flabby Dr. Camp SexWithMinors would know all about being 'hard' wouldn't he? I particularly like his pink, puffy little hands with those spindly fingers. Somehow we don't think the good doctor ever laid too many bricks or dug too many trenches.

Comment by weez 08.10.09 @ 11:57 pm

Ann, Marshall & Brownie, sorry about the belated appearance of your comments. Akismet made a rare misdiagnosis of your notes as spams. Fixed.
Comment by weez 08.11.09 @ 6:48 am

Ferkin’ idiot … but dangerous perhaps … I see he has young Galbally in his stable - now there’s a family with a mortgage on ‘nasty’.
Comment by John Snelson 08.12.09 @ 7:15 pm

And he’s got Danii Minogue, too. I understand she’s got a mortgage on ‘coat-tails.’
Comment by weez 08.13.09 @ 6:52 am

Don’t you wonder how much Faustina ‘Fuzzy’ Agolley digs being referred to as ‘the resident ‘afro’? Klemens could have called her the ‘token negro’ and been at least as complimentary.
Comment by weez 08.13.09 @ 6:58 am

If Dylan is prostitute it means that Klemens is his pimp. What’s the rate and his hook? Just curious, Dylan, not an offer.
Comment by Melchior 08.13.09 @ 12:33 pm

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