|No way on earth would Nick Folkes pretend to be an Arab making a bomb threat! It's just not in his character|
We warned youse that Nick Folkes was a galah, but his latest caper leaves no room for Doubting Thomases.
Nick was arrested on Sunday night and held for questioning as a dozen officers from the elite Special Response Group raided his Rozelle rat’s nest. After searching every room for incriminating evidence and finding mainly jizzy handkerchiefs and Asian titty mags they whisked him away in a van. Dumped in the cells with hardened crims who’re partial to another man’s rear, Nick nervously glued his backside to the cell’s bench while the law investigated reports he had made a bomb threat to Sydney’s Town Hall station. Apparently the caller shouted something like, “Allah Akbar, there is a bomb in the station.”
It is said that the security at Town Hall flew into defcon one, so the rozzes were not seeing the funny side. The call happened a few days back, but after trawling CCTV from around the vicinity of where the threat was made, they zeroed in on images of Nick behaving shiftily at a payphone. Recognising him from footage, NSW’s finest then checked his metadata and pinpointed his being in the general area when the hoax occurred via his mobile phone’s satellite info. That was, of course, before they hauled him in.
Folkes was eventually interviewed by detectives, whereupon he was asked to account for his whereabouts on the day, and offer up a DNA swab, to which he agreed. Likud-Nick signed his release form, got home, took a crap and hit his Facebook page to plead his innocence. Unsurprisingly, his doltish followers, who immediately rallied around their buffoonish leader, are conjuring dippy theories about a “left wing” conspiracy to defame him because he is so “dangerous” to the system, man. Their sort will buy any alibi, support any batty theory, and subscribe to any type of gibberish rather than face the overwhelming probability their bozo-in-chief is guilty.
Two things should come as no surprise, firstly that Nick would deny it, and secondly that he probably did it. Not that we’re trying to unfairly influence proceedings, as the matter is ongoing, but all we’re saying is that the cops could save themselves a heap of bother and lock him up now before he does something even more ridiculous. The big mistake is to assume he has any control over what he does. Rather than talking to detectives, Nick should be speaking to the best psychologist that money can buy. Yep, a read through years of Whitelaw Towers will reveal a damaged unit who’ll stick a flag up his bum, condoms to his head, wrap himself in toilet paper and be photographed nude ironing a burka. He wanted to start a riot at Cronulla, exploit the homeless in his cheesy propaganda with Kim Vuga, and outright lied about nationalists and patriots.
|Nick doesn't go in for goofy charades. Nick is one of those fair dinkum, no wukkas, fully legit straight shooters like you see in the westerns|
Nick had Jim Saleam kicked out of the last Reclaim Rally, drove John Safran to AFP’s Tempe headquarters after his abortive Cronulla rally (on the belief that Blair and Tom from the UPF were round there sipping shandies with Jim Saleam), and is now cos-playing Donald Trump in a stunt straight out of Better Call Saul.
Only recently we reported that Nick was cracking up. He got involved with a joker called Howard Crawford who does dirty operations for the Liberal party’s sewer division. Nick was used like a disposable diaper and chucked over the fence. Mentally exhausted and emotionally wrecked, Nick has lost all semblance of lucidity. Still owing thousands out of the court costs from his brush with Arab supremacist Jamal Rifi, Nick is now fully off his rocker. They say he sobs into his pillow, and giggles in the tub.
Given his predilection for stunts, and his proclivity for seeking attention, it is almost inevitable that Nick will be prosecuted. Then, after justice takes its course, he will probably be locked up for a hundred years. If he isn’t, then it will not be due to innocence, but because those pursuing the case are fully inept.
Whether or not he answers for his crime, Nick will forever be an albatross around the neck of the Australian patriot movement. Likewise, the patriots will always hang around the neck of Aussie nationalism like a petrified dog-turd.
|Nick preparing for the day he'll have to safeguard his ring from predatory inmates in prison|